Application update #1
It's been a busy week, filled with intense study-sessions and lots of Spectra-related activities! On top of that, there has been plenty of thoughts about Singapore running through my mind. In July, I posted about being nominated by my home university. However, the formal application for Nanyang Technological University opened on September 1st and since then I've been stressing out about getting all the neccessary documents in order.
It's not that it's a particularly hard or complicated process. I found that once I broke it down in to smaller steps (like printing my transcripts, picking out courses, getting a passport sized photo of myself etc) it was a lot more manageable than it seemed at first. But as the Professional Worrier™ I am, I've had a few moments of panic everyday. They usually go something like this:
Is this the way to do it? What if I misunderstood? Better send an e-mail. I thought I read about this somewhere and now I can't find it. Better ask someone and/or google frenetically. Maybe send another e-mail. Why haven't they answered my e-mails?!! What if I missed the deadline? Oh NO! I'm sure I missed a deadline better check it again. What if I forgot about something? Oh, I probably should have done this sooner! No wait, I'll just do the best I can, right?! Girl chill! What was I thinking I can't chill I need to get this right oh. my. god. what if I messed up and now I can't go. Wait, there's no way I could have messed this up because I haven't actually done anything. Should I do this now or wait? Maybe I shouldn't have waited so long. Again oh my god so many things all at once I can't---
And then I tell myself to breathe and get things together. One small step at a time. I've become a lot better at managing my anxious thoughts and I don't allow them to take over quite so much (although I owe a huge thank you to everyone around me who help by talking me through worry sessions. It makes all the difference). Anyway, imagine my relief when my screen lit up with these little words tonight:
I SENT IT IN. I FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY SENT IT IN. THE BALL IS ROLLING PEEPS, IT'S HAPPENING!
Relief --> EXTREME HYPE --> "wait what is this really happening"-nervousness --> some kind of serious determination --> back to happy relief. Repeat every hour or so ;)
Of course I am REALLY looking forward to my exchange, and of course I am excited, happy and grateful for the opportunity. Most of the time I feel really positive, but I wanted to share some of the other emotions with you too (because I have a lot of emotions, believe me). I want you around for every step of this journey! So no, I'm not complaining. Just trying to show you things the way they are.
Til next time! / Julia