Breathe in deeply. Inhale slowly and exhale even slower. Can you feel it? The new, fresh air of the new, fresh year? Does it make your every cell vibrate, does it make you want to scream NEW YEAR - NEW ME at the top of your lungs? No? No. Don't worry, I don't feel it either. And that's probably a good thing!

 

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the new year. It encourages us to pause, to reflect and to evaluate. That's great! But it's not realistic, nor helpful, to think that everything is somehow going to be completely different once the clock strikes midnight on December 31st. I try to approach the new year with an open mind and open heart, without big expectations, pressure or restrictions on myself.

 

I guess now is a good time to summarise 2017. Where do I begin? For me personally, it's been a year of tremendous growth. I welcomed 2017 in Singapore, and I spent the first six months abroad. I got to learn and explore and connect with so many people, whom I'm pretty sure will be important to me for a long long time to come. It was a wonderful time, really! Even if I struggled sometimes - with homesickness, with anxiety and insomnia, with feeling out of place and confused in new environments - overall, I felt good. I woke up feeling positive, knowing that all the experiences were good for me. That I was in a good place, fullfilling something that I had dreamt about and worked hard for. The first half of 2017 was wonderful in so many ways, and I feel blessed and thankful for everything that time has given me.

 

 

Now, what about the other half? I came back to Sweden, I was reunited with friends and family! I came back to Jönköping and got to sleep in my own bed again. A lot of my time was devoted to Spectra, the student association for human rights and against discrimination at Jönköping University. As the association's president, I got to work closely with brilliant people, doing meaningful things! I learned a whole lot from that experience as well, one being the importance of down-time and self care. I had so much on my plate, but because I liked what I was doing and there was a purpose that I was committed to, I took on more than I was able to handle in a healthy way. Besides working with Spectra and other student project groups, I was a full time student writing my bachelor's thesis.

 

In hind-sight, I should have been smarter with my time when I started feeling overwhelmed. It wasn't until my body started protesting big time that I realised that it wasn't a sustainable situtation. I thought I knew how to keep my mental health in check, so when things started manifesting physically I was both confused and scared.  The deep, overall positive outlook I experienced in the beginning of the year was missing. Instead, the worry I was experiencing regularly escalated to proper anxiety, including heart palpitations and chest pain. I started sleeping way too much or not at all. I realised that if I didn't start taking care of myself and set boundaries, soon I wouldn't be able to do any of the things that I wanted. The past few months were kind of difficult for me mentally, but I feel like it's turning around now. I'm incredibly grateful for the people around me for their support. Without attentive friends I would have probably pushed myself way past the point of return, and it would have taken a lot longer to get back on track. Thank you <3 

 

 

Why am I writing openly about this? Because I am convinced we need to talk more about mental health! I've seen it all around me this autumn. Several people I know have "hit the wall" and burned out, while almost everyone I've spoken to about this have their own experiences to share. If it is such a common problem, how come we are so bad at preventing burnouts and caring for those who experience it? 

 

May 2018 be a healthier year for all of us. May we recognise the signs when people around us are struggling, or when we are not feeling well ourselves. May we be kinder to ourselves and others and more mindful in everything we do.

 

Cheers for now! / Julia.