This is not going to be the most insightful or structured piece on the subject, but I've been thinking and feeling so much over these past few days that not sharing it feels strange. For a while I thought that would be better to just post about what I did on Thursday and Friday, because life has to go on like normal, right? Besides, I wasn't even there. I could think like that. But how do I justify it in the long run? How do I tell my friends that found themselves in the midst of it all, that they shouldn't allow themselves to be afraid? That we all have to shake it off? That it could have been worse?

Elin and I were enjoying a picnic in Singapore Science Center's garden, there was a movie screening and we were snacking on some crisps, pistachios and strawberries. If we looked up, we could even get a glimpse of Jupiter, brighter than any star on the night sky. That's when we got the news - something had happened back home. It felt like time slowed down, but the people around us didn't seem to notice. They kept chatting, laughing and taking selfies while we just looked at each other in disbelief. Is this for real? Apparently so. Next question, creeping up on us like a shadow, clutching our chests and shortening our breaths. Is everyone OK? 

 

We sent texts, we scrolled Facebook, we made calls, just to make sure. We were updated in real-time on what was happening, and it was so surreal. In those moments, all we wanted was to go back home. As if we could have somehow helped, as if it would have made any difference if we were actually on Swedish and not Singaporean soil. Maybe it would, I don't know. Just an hour or so before we found out, I was telling Elin how I felt about the semester ending, and our time abroad running out.

"I'm fine with being away" I said, "but it's going to be good to come home".

 

Home to a place were people, just hours after an event that could have lead them into apathy, instead opened up their homes. The outpour of love and solidarity that we have seen in Stockholm and the rest of Sweden is truly heartwarming. People coming together, walking together. Drinking coffee together, sitting together. People giving roses to police. Heavily armed police helping ladies cross the street. People deciding to donate blood, or food, or shelter for the night. People seem to do a whole lot, and that makes me happy. It seems that it is not just "online activism", or a superficial "caring" about something other than oneself. People are actually looking to what they can do for others, and they are doing it. 

 

My hope for the future is that we can keep that spirit strong, and extend the same determined action to those who face these horrible things on the daily. That we decide to lift them rather than push them down or away.

My hope for the future is that my muslim friends back home won't have to excuse themselves, that they won't be blamed for something that other Swedes are not.

Change is inevitable when something like this happens. I just hope that we change for the better ❤︎